For example, if you want to become more compassionate, thinking compassionate thoughts may be a start, but giving tzedaka (charity) will get you there.
Likewise, the best way to feel loving is to be loving ― and that means giving.
Nothing could change the fact that he would have to wake up tomorrow and face it all again.
There was nothing I could do to change his circumstance at work, and our time at home would never be “perfect” enough to make it all worth it. Change my expectations and exhibit some self-control, of my tongue as well as my emotions.
Now that you're feeling so warmly toward the entire human race, how can you deepen your love for someone?
The way God created us, actions affect our feelings most.
But I still had to remain sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate and kind. Sometimes being married means letting someone else be miserable, and being miserable with them, sitting silently, sadly together and letting the mood of your home whisper, “I’m sorry.
A few years ago, I spoke to a group of high-schoolers about the Jewish idea of love. By focusing on the good, you can love almost anyone.
I had to keep believing the better version of him was still in there somewhere. I’ve never been, nor will I ever be the perfect wife.
I do hope in those seasons, when he hated his job, that I earned a deeper love and respect by supporting him in his dark time. But spending a lifetime with someone is bound to require a “changing of the guard” of sorts, where each partner in turn stands watch and bears the brunt of the burden.
Obviously, there's a huge distance from here to the far more profound, personal love developed over the years, especially in marriage. Susan learned about this foundation of love after becoming engaged to David.
Love is that feeling you get when you meet the right person." Every hand went up. Judaism actually idealizes this universal, unconditional love.
In fact, sitting here in the trenches of brand new motherhood, reflecting on the hormonal swings and sleepless, emotional ups and downs of life with twin newborns, I can see through the haze how he doing this for me right now. Caring for me, understanding me, baring the burden, remaining patient, having faith that his lively, silly, sunshine-y bride will return in a few months time. I just hope I loved him then, while he hated his job, as well as he is loving me now, on the days I hate mine.